JEN PAINTER STUDIO

IN HER OWN WORDS

Through interviews and photographs, three women open their hearts to us and share their individual stories about domestic abuse. Sakhi for South Asian Women is an organization in NYC that provides a safe space and resources, uniting survivors like these women to end domestic violence and form healthy communities.

Produced and written by Joya Dass
Photographed by Jen Painter
http://www.sakhi.org/ 

photo story produced by Joya Dass with Sakhi for South Asian Women
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Nazma is from Bangladesh. She came to this country after an arranged marriage, not really knowing her husband. She got pregnant and found out he was a chronic drinker. He promised to stop drinking when the baby came, but he didn't. The drinking escalated and so did his temper. He would force her, scream and yell at her. Eventually, he started hitting her. It got so bad that her son had to call the police for her and they got an order of protection, which only lasted a short while. Then things would go right back to the same. She ended up in the hospital. The attending doctor told her about Sakhi. After her husband had run up their credit cards and stole all of their wedding gold from the bank, Nazma and her son left, drifting from home to home for years. Nazma wanted more than anything for her son to attend school. She didn't work, know anyone, or have any money. She didn't even speak English. Finally, she found an apartment in Queens where the landlord arranged for her to train at the local Duncan Donuts. She then connected with the women at Sakhi for South Asian Women, who set her up with dollars from the Sakhi fund to get groceries and a coat for her son. She entered into group counseling and went every week. They helped her read court notices and helped her attend several workshops and informational sessions. They even accompanied her to everyone of her court hearings. Sakhi provided her with a safe space to find strength within herself. Her son goes to a good school, looks forward to summer camp and Nazma is able to provide for her family. 
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words based on an interview with Nazma

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" I've taken my past, put it in a box and closed the lid. When I open it, it just makes me cry so I keep it shut. " 

Sadika was already divorced with two children when she met the man who would become her second husband. After marrying, he began to go out drinking and gambling at all hours of the night. Sometimes when he would come home, he would throw Sadika out of the house at 3am. She would go to her brother's but then he would smash her brother's car windows. She got work at a nearby restaurant during the day. She would come home to discover that her husband had thrown out all of her belongings. When her children came to visit, her husband would come home from a night of drinking and bang on the door. He harassed Sadika and her daughter. When he started to show up at her place of work, her boss took her aside and told her there was a lawyer in the building. She should go and seek counsel. She went to the lawyer and then to court, got an order of protection and filed a police report. The interpreter then suggested that Sadika seek help at Sakhi, who showed her the right doors to open when all she could see at the time was confusion. She got a social security card, a driver's license and learned how to speak English. At the time of these portraits, Sadika was studying for her GED and applying for her green card. Her daughter had gone to college and volunteered with Sakhi on her own. Sadika started taking private lessons to become a makeup artist and enter the world of fashion.

" Sakhi has been like my guardian angel. They cover me like the shade of a tree. I don't walk around with fear in my heart anymore. " 
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words based on an interview with Sadika

photo story produced by Joya Dass with Sakhi for South Asian Women
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After their arranged marriage in the US, Shikhali and her new husband had a child. Soon enough, he got a job in Canada and, in the process of moving, took her off of the immigration papers and, along with his parents, abducted their baby girl. His parents verbally abused and blackmailed her. Shikhali ended up in a homeless shelter in Canada where she started her case to take back her identity and her child. Her husband hired a lawyer and she lost. She was forced to move back to the US and provide her husband with support. When these portraits were taken, her husband still possessed all of her legal documents, jewelry, Indian clothes and refused to return them. She was rarely allowed to see her daughter, so she kept her eyes forward and focused on herself, studying for her CPA exams. She wants to get a full time decent job and see her daughter. She came to Sakhi to seek legal advice, support, counseling and to get strength from other women. She believes it's important that she understands what her rights and powers are, to be firmer and stronger.